I don't think you can handle this...

Madonna. Cher. Ozzy. Yancy. I didn’t even know Yancy’s last name and for the first half of school I never even saw her, I just heard her. She was like some mythical creature, what student could have a voice so loud, so recognizable, that teachers in the staff lounge would play “not-it” for who would go into the hall and tell her to pipe down. When I finally did see her, I thought, “that? That’s the girl?” Yancy is 5’1 on a good day and all mouth. With a walk and a hair weave worthy of Saturday Night Live she storms the halls, announcing her presence with the battle cry of “oh noh yooo didn’t!”

Yesterday Yancy charged toward the unsuspecting Mr. M. (a senior class advisor), and hollered, complete with a finger snap and neck swivel, “I don’t think you can handle this!” This confused even Mr. M, who has become accustomed to this kind of bizarre MTV behavior. “Handle what Yancy?” “This!” She proclaimed as she created an ellipse, with her little arm, in the air around body. “All this! I gotta a princess dress and I’mma gonna get my hair dun.” Fearing that Yancy may elaborate he quickly replied in a tired voice “Wow, that’s great Yancy,” as he backed away slowly. So tonight we will see, if we can “handle this.”